As many of you know, I love office supplies. When others take a walk for relaxation, I go to Staples. It's true. And I love having a job that not only allows me to have all of the typical office supplies - pens, pencils, staplers, etc. but also the really-fun-only-for-medical-people ones! Things like a stamp with my name and lisence number! And a measuring tape that lives in my pocket! And my stethoscopy (ok, so maybe not an office supply, but hey, it lives in my office, and it's a much needed supply... I think I made my argument).

However, the difficutly with these sorts of office supplies and the business of my work is that they often don't mix well. Take this morning for example. I had just come back from our (horribly long, boring, and way too money focused) staff meeting when I was sitting at my desk preparing for the rest of my day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my phone rings, my medical directors walks in, and a stack of labs lands on my desk. Inexplicably, I am instantly tangled in my phone cord and my stethoscope while watching helplessly as my paperclips and my pile of labs slide soundlessly to the floor. All in front of my medical director, who I'm still a little scared of. Good job, Rachel. Good job.

My love for office supplies back-fired this morning. We'll try again on Monday.

My new lover

I have a new third person in my relationship. She doesn't have a name yet... nor a gender for that matter. All I know is that I'm 100% obsessed and that for 7 days in June this baby will be between my legs for hours at a time...

4th week of new job

Well, well, well. It certainly has been a while. My life took a turn for the crazy and I had to find a new job. SO, while I'm not blogging about the insanity of the gays anymore, I am now working at a private practice on the upper west side where all of the crazy Jews live. Yay Jews!



This is my 4th week of my new job, working for the first time ever as a Nurse Practitioner, and so far, so good. I mean, I'm still a temp, which sucks, but they keep insinuating that they are going to hire me permantly, which is a good thing. And I'm making way more money as a temp, so really it's fine.



In the meantime, I have to say that I love being an NP. It's so fun to be able to walk into a room and pretend that I actually know what I'm talking about. Also, I think that the patients like me, even though I look like I'm 12, which makes them not trust me as much. But they feel instantly better once I whip out my stethoscope and diagnose them with some horrible pneumonia. I know it sounds weird, but truly, it makes them feel better - about me at least. And I love ordering vaccines, especially for people who think that their vaccine-getting days were long over. They're not just for little kids people! Old people need vaccines too.



And I'm working with some great new people, including my MD mentor, who is fabulous and from Boston. From the very first day, we thought we were maybe the same person. That fact is actually yet to be determined. Could I actually be a 35 year old doctor with 2 small children? Quite possibly...



Ok, time to see patients. Here it is:

The Daily Run Down:
Cups of coffee: 1 - half of which was drunk cold after lunch
Number of truly insane patients: I come across fewer insane patients here on the UWS... but they do exist, trust me.
Number of times I reassured myself that I was in the right profession: This number has grown exponentially day-by-day. I feel stupid most of the time - I'm hoping this gets better.
Contact with biohazardous material? Does potentially infected bug-bites count?
Number of times I purelled my hands: A dozen at least just this morning! My skin has started to fall off...
Number of times I dazed out and dreamt about my wedding: I've really run out of time for day-dreaming... At work, I'm too busy and at home, I'm too tired. I might eliminate this section from the daily run down. We'll see. I'll keep you posted on wedding plans though, don't worry.
Favorite patient: This story is actually from yesterday.
Little old lady (Jewish, of course): Ach, my life sucks. I have no friends and my husband died leaving me all alone.
Me: I'm so sorry. I know that must be hard.
Little old lady: Yes, yes, and I have this cough. Ach, it's horrible, and my life sucks.
Me: Tell me more about your cough.
Little old lady: You! You're a little young for all of this aren't you?!
Me: Aaaah...
Little old lady: What's your name?
Me: (writing it down for her, because we're yelling at each other). Rachel Katz.
Little old lady: You're Jewish? Ach! I feel so much better about you knowing that you're Jewish. Now, what's wrong with me and why does my life suck?

True story. Aaah, the Jews.